So you guys and gals here are like another family to me now, and I feel like I should share this with you. Its not a happy message, and I sure wish it was. So if you don't want to feel depressed, don't read farther.
Where to start. My brother Cody, the 3rd of 4 boys, has always been a problem child due to a chemical imbalance. He is manic bipolar, and worse than anyone I have ever known, or the doctors have known. He was on several prescriptions for a while, but it never really helped, and he turned to street drugs. Mainly alcohol and pot, but he had a problem with cocaine and heroin for a while as well. He is now 18, a 5th year senior, and probably won't graduate from high school, due to being kicked out of a dozen schools. And now he has been arrested 6 times for various things all related to drugs or alcohol.
This brings me to this last week. On last Saturday, he was arrested for public intoxication and urinating in public, but he was released after the court date was set. Then on Thursday, he was with his friends, and he was drinking and driving. He was pulled over doing 60 in a 45 and there were 2 bottles of hard alcohol open in the truck. Even though his blood alcohol level was .042, he was still arrested because he is underage on top of driving with open alcohol container.
He was once again released, and last night he went out again with his 'friends'. He was drinking and driving again and flew past a cop doing 90 in a 45. The cop began to chase. The officer said that he eventually stopped pursuit, but we're still going to request the police car video. Then Cody tried to get on the freeway going much too fast, and his 1970's ford slid out, hit a concrete barrier and then slammed into a pole. The officer arrived to see my brother hanging halfway out of the smashed side window.
He was in the ICU and had to have brain surgery due to blood clots in his brain. The doctors had to cut through his skull from his left sideburn all the way over the top of his head to above the right eye socket. They also had to remove a 1/2" square of bone. They stitched up the front of his forehead where he went through the glass (20 stitches) and stapled his skull back together with over 60 staples.
He has only been out of surgery for a couple hours, and he already had several signs of high responsiveness even though he can't open his eyes yet. The drug they have him on is the drug Michael Jackson died from, Propofol. They had to up my brother's doseage when he tried to remove the compression socks, tubes still in him and everything. The doctor also asked my brother to reach out and grab the doctor's hand, and he did that no problem. So he is going in for his second CT scan shortly. Most likely, as soon as he is released from the hospital, he will be arrested and charged with felony flight. I don't even know what the minimum sentence is for that, but I'm going to guess 1 year in prison.
I live 500 miles away and I honestly don't want to drive out there for him. I have never felt so mad at him before, and yet he's my brother. I don't know what to think. I just don't know. I can't believe this.
Sorry to hear about your brother. I hope, for his sake, this might help him turn his life around for the better. I had a good friend go through the windshield of his car then get rolled over by the car. He was in a coma for almost a month. He turned his life around afterward.
Being mad at your brother is natural for any sibling. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it will end up being the right decision. Sometimes the hardest ones are.
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I'm sorry to hear that bro. I'm kind of like you, the people who I know on the internet become like real friends. I'll pray for your brother and keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Deciding whether or not to go see him is a tough decision. Sometimes you have to do what's better for yourself and yet other times you have to make the sacrifice for someone else. I don't know the situation between you and your brother so I can't say one way or the other. However, if seeing him will help him in both his healing and rehabilitation, then I think it is worth it. Sometimes a person has to be the bigger person to help the greater cause. I am sure no matter what decision you make, it will be what is best for both you and your brother.
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That sucks, it really does. But after he ran into so much stuff before he got into that accident, why didn't you guys get him some help or something? Maybe prison or whatever it is that he gets is what he needs at this stage, y'know?
He was caught drinking and driving... They let him go. He was caught drinking and driving... They let him go. What's the problem here? He should have gotten some serious help.
If you love him then you only really have one option. Its a sad situation but if you cut him out of your life it could just make it worse. Especially if he looks up to you in any way as his older brother
Well I would never consider cutting him off from me. We're just too close.
As for help, he's been in rehab 4 times now, and seems to do fine while he is there, and about 1 month after. Then right back into the drugs.
As for going to see him. I don't think I will. I definitely want to talk to him on the phone, but I can't afford it to leave.
The good news is he is already recovering really well. The second CT scan came back fine, and they took the tubes out of him. He's being all stubborn and thinks he doesn't need to be in the hospital (AKA, the anesthetic hasn't worn off yet). But I guess that's how all 4 of us boys are.
My brother is similar, drugs, alcohol and arrests. He isn't allowed to come to my place or my mom's because he has stolen from us. My dad has finally reached his limit as well and has stopped letting him "borrow" money. He has a kid he doesn't support and mooches off of anyone that will LET him. Surprisingly, people still do.
You have to get tough. I love my bro to death but he can't be as big a part in my life as I would like. He is slowly coming around but the cliche one step forward and two back always comes into play.
I wish you luck and hope that your brother figures out he needs to get his shit together before something worse happens.
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Wow, drugs, alcohol, arrests, stealing from the family. Sounds like they should hang out. He wasn't allowed in my Dad's house because he fights with my other 2 brothers a lot, over stupid stuff.
I get what you mean about being tough. That's part of why I moved from Arizona to California, so I could let them sort out their problems, and I could live my life.
As for an update: I talked to him on the phone yesterday, and honestly, you wouldn't know he was even in an accident. He was identical to how he was the last time I saw him, for good or for bad lol. He'll have one more CT scan today, and then they are still probably going to hold him there for a couple more nights to watch him. After that, he'll be sent home, from there, we'll see.
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Where to start. My brother Cody, the 3rd of 4 boys, has always been a problem child due to a chemical imbalance. He is manic bipolar, and worse than anyone I have ever known, or the doctors have known. He was on several prescriptions for a while, but it never really helped, and he turned to street drugs. Mainly alcohol and pot, but he had a problem with cocaine and heroin for a while as well. He is now 18, a 5th year senior, and probably won't graduate from high school, due to being kicked out of a dozen schools. And now he has been arrested 6 times for various things all related to drugs or alcohol.
This brings me to this last week. On last Saturday, he was arrested for public intoxication and urinating in public, but he was released after the court date was set. Then on Thursday, he was with his friends, and he was drinking and driving. He was pulled over doing 60 in a 45 and there were 2 bottles of hard alcohol open in the truck. Even though his blood alcohol level was .042, he was still arrested because he is underage on top of driving with open alcohol container.
He was once again released, and last night he went out again with his 'friends'. He was drinking and driving again and flew past a cop doing 90 in a 45. The cop began to chase. The officer said that he eventually stopped pursuit, but we're still going to request the police car video. Then Cody tried to get on the freeway going much too fast, and his 1970's ford slid out, hit a concrete barrier and then slammed into a pole. The officer arrived to see my brother hanging halfway out of the smashed side window.
He was in the ICU and had to have brain surgery due to blood clots in his brain. The doctors had to cut through his skull from his left sideburn all the way over the top of his head to above the right eye socket. They also had to remove a 1/2" square of bone. They stitched up the front of his forehead where he went through the glass (20 stitches) and stapled his skull back together with over 60 staples.
He has only been out of surgery for a couple hours, and he already had several signs of high responsiveness even though he can't open his eyes yet. The drug they have him on is the drug Michael Jackson died from, Propofol. They had to up my brother's doseage when he tried to remove the compression socks, tubes still in him and everything. The doctor also asked my brother to reach out and grab the doctor's hand, and he did that no problem. So he is going in for his second CT scan shortly. Most likely, as soon as he is released from the hospital, he will be arrested and charged with felony flight. I don't even know what the minimum sentence is for that, but I'm going to guess 1 year in prison.
I live 500 miles away and I honestly don't want to drive out there for him. I have never felt so mad at him before, and yet he's my brother. I don't know what to think. I just don't know. I can't believe this.
Thanks for reading.
Being mad at your brother is natural for any sibling. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it will end up being the right decision. Sometimes the hardest ones are.
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On the bright side, I'm sure I'll get some good song writing out of this. :/
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As for help, he's been in rehab 4 times now, and seems to do fine while he is there, and about 1 month after. Then right back into the drugs.
As for going to see him. I don't think I will. I definitely want to talk to him on the phone, but I can't afford it to leave.
The good news is he is already recovering really well. The second CT scan came back fine, and they took the tubes out of him. He's being all stubborn and thinks he doesn't need to be in the hospital (AKA, the anesthetic hasn't worn off yet). But I guess that's how all 4 of us boys are.
My brother is similar, drugs, alcohol and arrests. He isn't allowed to come to my place or my mom's because he has stolen from us. My dad has finally reached his limit as well and has stopped letting him "borrow" money. He has a kid he doesn't support and mooches off of anyone that will LET him. Surprisingly, people still do.
You have to get tough. I love my bro to death but he can't be as big a part in my life as I would like. He is slowly coming around but the cliche one step forward and two back always comes into play.
I wish you luck and hope that your brother figures out he needs to get his shit together before something worse happens.
Folks will always come and go, so enjoy them while they're meant to be in your life.
I get what you mean about being tough. That's part of why I moved from Arizona to California, so I could let them sort out their problems, and I could live my life.
As for an update: I talked to him on the phone yesterday, and honestly, you wouldn't know he was even in an accident. He was identical to how he was the last time I saw him, for good or for bad lol. He'll have one more CT scan today, and then they are still probably going to hold him there for a couple more nights to watch him. After that, he'll be sent home, from there, we'll see.