Here's a sample of the story I was working a year or two ago. I haven't done any work on it lately, and it's a pretty out-dated sample of my writing, but I felt like I ought to get the ball rolling here in the brand new Fan Fiction section.
I've only read the prologue so far, but I have to say it's pretty awesome! It has a lot of polish on a level one might find in a published novel
I noted a few corrections that you might want to make... I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here. Personally, I'd take it as a compliment if someone was interested in my writing enough to catch errors
PDF page 4 paragraph 1: pursuers (Here it's plural suggesting multiple pursuers, see the next line.)
PDF page 4 paragraph 2: body of his pursuer (Here it's singular suggesting only 1 pursuer.)
PDF page 5 paragraph 2: strayed once more TO the carcass (The word "to" seems to have accidentally been left out.)
PDF page 5 paragraph 7: "Oh, this is your jungle," (I couldn't tell what emphasis you were going for, but it seems to me that the following changes should be made: I think there should be a comma after "Oh" and I think "your" should be italicized to illustrate emphasis. These changes might just be to my own personal tastes though.)
I look forward to reading the rest when I have a bit more time! If it bothered you that I made corrections I won't do it again, but if you'd like I can keep my eyes open for other things
Not bad my friend. From a fantasy writer to another I liked it. There were a few issues here and there but I'm not going to comment to harshly because you said it was outdated. Can I ask to see something current of yours? I'd love to see your true abilities for myself.
But you should put a warning or something that it makes Adobe Reader come up. Adobe reader blows hard, and unless I choose "Run Program" it makes my system freeze up for like 5 minutes.
We want more, we want more, we want more. (Well, I do anyway!:P)
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Smiling is infectious.
Give, expecting nothing thereof. ------------ BoD - Come have some fun! Folks will always come and go, so enjoy them while they're meant to be in your life.
I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here. Personally, I'd take it as a compliment if someone was interested in my writing enough to catch errors
No worries. Constructive criticism is awesome. The only crit I have problems with is the straight up "I don't like this" kind.
Most of the errors in the writing are the result of me not properly checking it over and / or writing too quickly. Most of the errors I've actually noticed and fixed in the original word document, but they remain the same in the PDF.
Quote from name="Diagelos Necrovio" »
Not bad my friend. From a fantasy writer to another I liked it. There were a few issues here and there but I'm not going to comment to harshly because you said it was outdated. Can I ask to see something current of yours? I'd love to see your true abilities for myself.
Haha, thanks. Actually, to be honest, I haven't done much traditional writing lately. All the writing I've been doing has been Forum Roleplaying. The posts are usually short or intertwined with other people's writing. If I ever write something proper again it'll likely be some sort of FanFic and therefore will probably end up in here. Just keep an eye out.
Quote from "Stormcat" »
We want more, we want more, we want more. (Well, I do anyway!:P)
Haha, thanks, C. Maybe in a while when school is over and I'm still a jobless bum and have nothing to do I'll pick this up again.
Fan Fiction Title: Guardians of Sanctuary
Part/Chapter: Prologue through Chapter 3
Score: 9/10
Review: The fan fiction club inspired me to finish reading this story, I couldn't resist the 12 points I still say that you write with the skill of an experienced novelist. The only reason it wasn't 10/10 was because there were a couple minor inconsistencies and typographical errors. So far the two different story lines are both intriguing me and I hope you'll finish this fan fiction! I'm curious to see how it will all tie together
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Quote from "Genesis" »
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Let me know what you guys think, I guess.
I noted a few corrections that you might want to make... I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here. Personally, I'd take it as a compliment if someone was interested in my writing enough to catch errors
PDF page 4 paragraph 1: pursuers (Here it's plural suggesting multiple pursuers, see the next line.)
PDF page 4 paragraph 2: body of his pursuer (Here it's singular suggesting only 1 pursuer.)
PDF page 5 paragraph 2: strayed once more TO the carcass (The word "to" seems to have accidentally been left out.)
PDF page 5 paragraph 7: "Oh, this is your jungle," (I couldn't tell what emphasis you were going for, but it seems to me that the following changes should be made: I think there should be a comma after "Oh" and I think "your" should be italicized to illustrate emphasis. These changes might just be to my own personal tastes though.)
I look forward to reading the rest when I have a bit more time! If it bothered you that I made corrections I won't do it again, but if you'd like I can keep my eyes open for other things
Email me at d_necrovi@yahoo.com if you can.
Once again nice job on the fic. OH and nice formatting too, likes like it came right out of the D2 manual.
The Necromancer says "All who oppose me...beware"
The Witch Doctor says "BOO NUH MA GA!"
The Cow says "Mooooo"
Deckard Cain Says.....Toy explodes....
But you should put a warning or something that it makes Adobe Reader come up. Adobe reader blows hard, and unless I choose "Run Program" it makes my system freeze up for like 5 minutes.
CyberPunk RP Nexus
Folks will always come and go, so enjoy them while they're meant to be in your life.
No worries. Constructive criticism is awesome. The only crit I have problems with is the straight up "I don't like this" kind.
Most of the errors in the writing are the result of me not properly checking it over and / or writing too quickly. Most of the errors I've actually noticed and fixed in the original word document, but they remain the same in the PDF.
Haha, thanks. Actually, to be honest, I haven't done much traditional writing lately. All the writing I've been doing has been Forum Roleplaying. The posts are usually short or intertwined with other people's writing. If I ever write something proper again it'll likely be some sort of FanFic and therefore will probably end up in here. Just keep an eye out.
Haha, thanks, C. Maybe in a while when school is over and I'm still a jobless bum and have nothing to do I'll pick this up again.
Part/Chapter: Prologue through Chapter 3
Score: 9/10
Review: The fan fiction club inspired me to finish reading this story, I couldn't resist the 12 points