The DiabloFans Writing Guild was formed in 2010 to promote and cultivate fictional writing here in the Fan Fiction forum and the Non-Diablo Fan Fiction subforum.
This OP will be updated with links to and short synopses of the writings of the month.
Writers and frequent reviewers are members of the DiabloFans Writing Guild (hereafter referred to as DFWG) who offer reviews, critiques, and/or their own work for monthly pieces (for membership as a critic just PM me; I'll add you to the list).
Writers: If you want to upload your polished work as a PDF file (which I think is much easier to read through) and are having trouble uploading files here, I'll gladly upload it to my own webspace and give you a link. Just make sure your name, the date it was last edited, and page numbers (if applicable) are included.
The hope is that this will be a thorough-yet-concise list of things to consider for your reading and that, in turn, readers will be inspired to help writers with their work based on opinionated feedback. If you'd like to be added to the guild list (as a writer, reviewer, or both), PM me, post here, or post on my profile. I'll PM guild members with the latest for each week, including short synopses, upcoming work, new members, and maybe some tools to help with your writing.
Brend leads a solitary life under the watchful eyes of the Druid Wardens, keepers and defenders of the forest-sanctuary Scosglen. Now, elements of the past and future clash in the present, and he finds himself adrift in the change of times.
In a twist on the traditional role of hero and villain, Belisarius portrays his Fallen Tenerf of the Bekrinn clan as a small group of like-minded demonkin, led by the shaman Grumming, attack a human household.
This satirical, modern-day, first-person fiction places the characters of the Lord of the Rings in the drab and often depressing life of the protagonist, comically juxtaposing the characters' archetypes and phrases with the vibe of the day.
Mysteries abound in this on-going fanfiction set in the world of Sanctuary. The story recounts the massacre at Tyloneus by a mysterious winged demon in a dark tale of tragic loss and intrigue. Alone, a boy sets off with a nameless woman on an unknown journey perhaps, as the title implies, with a vengeance.
Style - 8/10
I really liked that the story starts off in the middle of the action. You feel just as lost as the main character (Wesley Green). From the beginning, you feel like something is going on but you are unsure exactly what that is. While I liked the disorienting feeling, I did find myself scratching my head trying to get a handle of the situation.
Originality - 8/10
Wesley is thrown into a familiar situation of murder, lies, and confusion but it is handled in a unique way. The events are given to you like puzzle pieces rather than a straight story.
Overall Story - 8/10
Long story short, I want to read more. Part 1 has created a great intro for more story. Blood and throw up paint a gritty scene for this story and what is to come. I won't ruin the ending but it looks promising.
Character Viability - 7/10
I felt Wesley's character was very good and focused. For someone in such an awkward situation, I felt he handled it very realistically. However, I feel that the other characters were a but cliche and too one-dimensional. Granted, they were needed for the situation, I think they could have had a little more to them.
Clarity of Writing - 9/10
Nektu paints a vivid picture. Considering the situation is supposed to be confusing. There was one point where I got lost but after I reread the last paragraph, I quickly understood the situation.
Overall Score: 40/50
Personally, this story is not really my taste. I don't really like the over use of vulgarity and vomit. However, if this is your style, you will love this story and won't be able to wait for the next installment.
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Style - 7/10
I appreciated your minimal effort to tell backstory without making it absorb your work. I also enjoyed starting right in with the action, Wesley's anger issues. There were, however, some issues: I don't think a "gentleman" would tell someone to go "jerk off", although his classiness was well portrayed when he went to the bar.
Originality - 9/10
As far as this board goes, your story was very original. I don't give perfect scores, though. It's not possible
Overall Story - 6/10
For abrupt elements of mystery, I am giving it a six.
Character Viability - 7/10
Like Scyber, I believe that Wesley was done well. He had obvious motives to act hysterically and curse and vomit- I probably would have under similar circumstances; however, the Visitor did not seem to be as consistent a character, where in the first part he was classy and suave, in the second part he started spouting all manner of obscenities, which contradicted the cool temperament I was led to believe he had (although this returns in the finale).
Clarity of Writing - 7/10
It was entertaining to read, but it is mottled-up in a lot of places with spelling errors, and some paragraphs could have used some more pronouns.
Choose your own adventure is just that, you get to choose your own adventure. The story has been running Sept. 05, 2009 and is still going strong. Every update to the story ends with a decision, that you the reader, get to make. This decision will completely change what happens next time the story is updated.
The story began with our main character William, a young boy, bravely opening the door and saving his Mother's life. His town was in ruins and a Barbarian (Kaelan) saved William and his mother. William soon returned the favor and saved the life of an Assassin named Sara. The four traveled to Kaelan's home of Mt.Arreat. Here, they left William's Mother and continued their journey to find the source of Evil. They have run in to some other people only to have them unfortunately killed. Upon reaching Caldeum, they met up with a Sorcerer who goes by the name of Gaheed. Joining the group, they made their way to the Kurast docks. Here, they got a mission from the famous Assassin Natalya, to retrieve a ring. While fighting a giant spider, the readers decided to have William put on the ring they found. The ring magically turned William into an adult instantly. Not knowing what happened, the group decided to travel to Ureh to find Natalya and get answers. Along the way, through the jungles, they have met up with a crazy Witch Doctor named Kifu. They continued their journey until they saw a mysterious glowing ball. After tracking it down the ball has begun emitting a strange fog out of it.
This is where the story has lead up to. If this sounds interesting and you would like to be a part of this heroic tale, stop in and vote for the next series of events.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
Style - 8/10
I like the first person view. It really helps to make you feel like you are in the story. I also liked how there were parts dedicated specifically to some of the character's past.
Originality - 7/10
So far, the story itself is not too original. There are some interesting combinations of different lore added together which is cool.
Overall Story - 6/10
I thought the story was good. With the intro and the ending, I wan to read more. However, I feel the story goes to quickly through events. I would like for the story to slow down and focus more on one situation.
Character Viability - 8/10
Oddly, I feel least connected with Jonathon. I really liked Chey and Heytons' back stories. I felt that these two characters were unique and had their own style.
Clarity of Writing - 5/10
I am under the assumption that English is not your first language and given this you did very well. However, that does not change the fact that the story is very hard to read. I constantly had to go back and re-read sections to try to understand what was going on. I also feel the quick pace of the story is also contributing to the lack of clarity.
Overall Score: 34/50
I think the idea of the story is great. I think a lot of time could be spent refining both the events of the story and the writing itself. I do look forward to more of the story.
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Synopses:
What has happened to the rookie cop who was on the scene first? How has it effected his life and the lives of those around him? We'll find out in the coming days.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Recruiting for East Realm Also recruiting for Sc2 on both EU and NA servers
Style:9/10
I enjoyed your non-conformist usage of thoughts that you blended in to your paragraphs. While at times it made the reading ambiguous, it helped to blend narrative and character "speech" (in this case, mental speech).
Originality:9/10
How could it not be original? I don't see any other FanFic's out there on the Wizards nor many that portray the mysticism of the Vizjerei so potently. It also blended a lot of other bits of lore from all over Sanctuary.
Overall Story:8/10
It was entertaining to see the interaction of the old one and the Vizjerei, but some things I did not fully grasp, such as his decision to cooperate with the old man and go on a journey (this is typically decided at the first threshold of adventure). I liked how you incorporated a lot of existing landmarks in Kehjistan. The thing I believe you did very well was your ability to convey a sense of traveling- I can't do this very well, I'm an all-action or all-emotion guy.
Character Viability:7/10
You have all of your bases covered so far, and I saw bits and pieces of true character float through the jetsam sometimes, but I didn't feel a real connection with either of the characters for most of the reading.
Clarity of Writing: 9/10
There were a few issues with capitalization, structure, and that kind of junk, but it was really minimal and I would be an idiot if I didn't give you a nine- much better than most people that post on this board on a daily basis.
Overall Score:42/50
I expected a lot from you when I started reading it last night and I was not disappointed. Excellent job
Brrraaiinn fffaaarrrttt! Work has been kicking my ass and making my brain hurt due to all of the stupid people I work with. But, I'm still working on something. Should have it up by Tuesday.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Recruiting for East Realm Also recruiting for Sc2 on both EU and NA servers
Style - 8/10
I liked the idea of doing it from somebody else's point of view rather than from the Dhampir's point of view. Writing as on of Abd-al Hazir's journal is a fun approach to the story.
Originality - 7/10
Obviously the style is taken from Diablo's website. Vampire's themselves are also not original. However, I loved the unique twist that the Dhampir's are fighting against their makers because of the death's of their mothers. This is a great idea to get an "evil" class on the side of good.
Overall Story - 7/10
I liked the situation that was given but it was much too short and didn't dive deep enough into the story of the Dhampirs. I would have like to have gotten some better and more flushed out history of the Dhampirs. Also, there is no real plot to the story other than to give a small back story to the Dhampirs as class.
Character Viability - 7/10
Abd-al Hazir's character does little but narrate the scene given. I don't feel any real connection to this character. Since Abd-al Hazir takes up the majority of the story, I felt no real connection to the Dhampir in the story. I would like to have felt some anguish and suffering from the Dhampir for the loss of his mother or more fear and feeling from Abd-al Hazir
Clarity of Writing - 9/10
The story is very clear and easy to follow. I never found myself having to re-read sections to gain more clarity. The story paints an obvious picture while leaving out unnecessary details to the story.
Overall Score: 38/50
Overall, it just needs more. It is a great beginning and a good story considering its use. I would like to get more on the Dhampirs and have them fully fleshed out as beings in Sanctuary.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
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The hope is that this will be a thorough-yet-concise list of things to consider for your reading and that, in turn, readers will be inspired to help writers with their work based on opinionated feedback. If you'd like to be added to the guild list (as a writer, reviewer, or both), PM me, post here, or post on my profile. I'll PM guild members with the latest for each week, including short synopses, upcoming work, new members, and maybe some tools to help with your writing.
OP updated (shameless bump).
Style - 8/10
I really liked that the story starts off in the middle of the action. You feel just as lost as the main character (Wesley Green). From the beginning, you feel like something is going on but you are unsure exactly what that is. While I liked the disorienting feeling, I did find myself scratching my head trying to get a handle of the situation.
Originality - 8/10
Wesley is thrown into a familiar situation of murder, lies, and confusion but it is handled in a unique way. The events are given to you like puzzle pieces rather than a straight story.
Overall Story - 8/10
Long story short, I want to read more. Part 1 has created a great intro for more story. Blood and throw up paint a gritty scene for this story and what is to come. I won't ruin the ending but it looks promising.
Character Viability - 7/10
I felt Wesley's character was very good and focused. For someone in such an awkward situation, I felt he handled it very realistically. However, I feel that the other characters were a but cliche and too one-dimensional. Granted, they were needed for the situation, I think they could have had a little more to them.
Clarity of Writing - 9/10
Nektu paints a vivid picture. Considering the situation is supposed to be confusing. There was one point where I got lost but after I reread the last paragraph, I quickly understood the situation.
Overall Score: 40/50
Personally, this story is not really my taste. I don't really like the over use of vulgarity and vomit. However, if this is your style, you will love this story and won't be able to wait for the next installment.
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
Style - 7/10
I appreciated your minimal effort to tell backstory without making it absorb your work. I also enjoyed starting right in with the action, Wesley's anger issues. There were, however, some issues: I don't think a "gentleman" would tell someone to go "jerk off", although his classiness was well portrayed when he went to the bar.
Originality - 9/10
As far as this board goes, your story was very original. I don't give perfect scores, though. It's not possible
Overall Story - 6/10
For abrupt elements of mystery, I am giving it a six.
Character Viability - 7/10
Like Scyber, I believe that Wesley was done well. He had obvious motives to act hysterically and curse and vomit- I probably would have under similar circumstances; however, the Visitor did not seem to be as consistent a character, where in the first part he was classy and suave, in the second part he started spouting all manner of obscenities, which contradicted the cool temperament I was led to believe he had (although this returns in the finale).
Clarity of Writing - 7/10
It was entertaining to read, but it is mottled-up in a lot of places with spelling errors, and some paragraphs could have used some more pronouns.
Overall Score: 37/50
Choose your own adventure is just that, you get to choose your own adventure. The story has been running Sept. 05, 2009 and is still going strong. Every update to the story ends with a decision, that you the reader, get to make. This decision will completely change what happens next time the story is updated.
The story began with our main character William, a young boy, bravely opening the door and saving his Mother's life. His town was in ruins and a Barbarian (Kaelan) saved William and his mother. William soon returned the favor and saved the life of an Assassin named Sara. The four traveled to Kaelan's home of Mt.Arreat. Here, they left William's Mother and continued their journey to find the source of Evil. They have run in to some other people only to have them unfortunately killed. Upon reaching Caldeum, they met up with a Sorcerer who goes by the name of Gaheed. Joining the group, they made their way to the Kurast docks. Here, they got a mission from the famous Assassin Natalya, to retrieve a ring. While fighting a giant spider, the readers decided to have William put on the ring they found. The ring magically turned William into an adult instantly. Not knowing what happened, the group decided to travel to Ureh to find Natalya and get answers. Along the way, through the jungles, they have met up with a crazy Witch Doctor named Kifu. They continued their journey until they saw a mysterious glowing ball. After tracking it down the ball has begun emitting a strange fog out of it.
This is where the story has lead up to. If this sounds interesting and you would like to be a part of this heroic tale, stop in and vote for the next series of events.
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
Style - 8/10
I like the first person view. It really helps to make you feel like you are in the story. I also liked how there were parts dedicated specifically to some of the character's past.
Originality - 7/10
So far, the story itself is not too original. There are some interesting combinations of different lore added together which is cool.
Overall Story - 6/10
I thought the story was good. With the intro and the ending, I wan to read more. However, I feel the story goes to quickly through events. I would like for the story to slow down and focus more on one situation.
Character Viability - 8/10
Oddly, I feel least connected with Jonathon. I really liked Chey and Heytons' back stories. I felt that these two characters were unique and had their own style.
Clarity of Writing - 5/10
I am under the assumption that English is not your first language and given this you did very well. However, that does not change the fact that the story is very hard to read. I constantly had to go back and re-read sections to try to understand what was going on. I also feel the quick pace of the story is also contributing to the lack of clarity.
Overall Score: 34/50
I think the idea of the story is great. I think a lot of time could be spent refining both the events of the story and the writing itself. I do look forward to more of the story.
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
Synopses:
What has happened to the rookie cop who was on the scene first? How has it effected his life and the lives of those around him? We'll find out in the coming days.
Recruiting for East Realm
Also recruiting for Sc2 on both EU and NA servers
Bod home Page
Style: 9/10
I enjoyed your non-conformist usage of thoughts that you blended in to your paragraphs. While at times it made the reading ambiguous, it helped to blend narrative and character "speech" (in this case, mental speech).
Originality: 9/10
How could it not be original? I don't see any other FanFic's out there on the Wizards nor many that portray the mysticism of the Vizjerei so potently. It also blended a lot of other bits of lore from all over Sanctuary.
Overall Story: 8/10
It was entertaining to see the interaction of the old one and the Vizjerei, but some things I did not fully grasp, such as his decision to cooperate with the old man and go on a journey (this is typically decided at the first threshold of adventure). I liked how you incorporated a lot of existing landmarks in Kehjistan. The thing I believe you did very well was your ability to convey a sense of traveling- I can't do this very well, I'm an all-action or all-emotion guy.
Character Viability: 7/10
You have all of your bases covered so far, and I saw bits and pieces of true character float through the jetsam sometimes, but I didn't feel a real connection with either of the characters for most of the reading.
Clarity of Writing: 9/10
There were a few issues with capitalization, structure, and that kind of junk, but it was really minimal and I would be an idiot if I didn't give you a nine- much better than most people that post on this board on a daily basis.
Overall Score: 42/50
I expected a lot from you when I started reading it last night and I was not disappointed. Excellent job
Style: 7/10
Reading this from a first person POV was something I really liked. But it felt as if I was reading a diary with the lack of dialogue.
Originality: 9/10
I don't remember reading anything like this before.
Over All Story: 7/10
Without the dialogue I almost feel like I'm being rushed through it.
Character Viability: 7/10
I feel like this character can be expanded upon. Not really knowing anything about him, I can't really connect with him.
Clarity of writing: 9/10
So far it flows wonderfully.
Overall: 39/50
I'm looking forward to reading more and finding out what is yet to happen. If you are into Diablo based Fiction, you'll like this one.
Recruiting for East Realm
Also recruiting for Sc2 on both EU and NA servers
Bod home Page
Recruiting for East Realm
Also recruiting for Sc2 on both EU and NA servers
Bod home Page
Ditto...sort of. Feeling rather uninspired by it though...:confused:
Edit~
OP updated with Scyber's new non-Diablo Fan Fiction and some ratings.
Style - 8/10
I liked the idea of doing it from somebody else's point of view rather than from the Dhampir's point of view. Writing as on of Abd-al Hazir's journal is a fun approach to the story.
Originality - 7/10
Obviously the style is taken from Diablo's website. Vampire's themselves are also not original. However, I loved the unique twist that the Dhampir's are fighting against their makers because of the death's of their mothers. This is a great idea to get an "evil" class on the side of good.
Overall Story - 7/10
I liked the situation that was given but it was much too short and didn't dive deep enough into the story of the Dhampirs. I would have like to have gotten some better and more flushed out history of the Dhampirs. Also, there is no real plot to the story other than to give a small back story to the Dhampirs as class.
Character Viability - 7/10
Abd-al Hazir's character does little but narrate the scene given. I don't feel any real connection to this character. Since Abd-al Hazir takes up the majority of the story, I felt no real connection to the Dhampir in the story. I would like to have felt some anguish and suffering from the Dhampir for the loss of his mother or more fear and feeling from Abd-al Hazir
Clarity of Writing - 9/10
The story is very clear and easy to follow. I never found myself having to re-read sections to gain more clarity. The story paints an obvious picture while leaving out unnecessary details to the story.
Overall Score: 38/50
Overall, it just needs more. It is a great beginning and a good story considering its use. I would like to get more on the Dhampirs and have them fully fleshed out as beings in Sanctuary.
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team