What keeps me going? The fact that there are people around me who would be very hurt if I decide to stop going. That would be selfish.
I used to think the exact same thing. My first girlfriend attempted to commit suicide on a few occasions. I say attempted because anyone that really wants to, won't fail. She was just trying to get people's attention. But I digress. You must understand, that saying it's "selfish" is a very judgmental attitude. The person that is thinking about suicide is being selfish by a happy person's point of view, but to them they are just scared and tired. They are looking for relief in the last place they want to. Nobody really wants to die, they want relief from whatever is causing them stress and sorrow. People that want to commit suicide are in all accounts "unhealthy". I don't mean to affend by saying that, but I believe thoughts of suicide come from an unhealthy lifestyle and mind. (I've been there) Saying they are being selfish is like calling a person with down syndrome a retard. Its not fair to judge them for their feelings.
I feel the same, I don't think it's right to call a suicidal person selfish. A friend I used to have would say I'm very selfish for thinking about suicide. She was depressed too, but not suicidal. I felt that, in a way, she was being selfish, because she wanted me to stay around so she wouldn't have so suffer my loss. But for her to not be hurt by that, I had to stay alive, and then I'd be suffering. It's all a matter of how you look at it, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to it really. I also don't think the other person always understands the suicidal person. Also, that friend I had, would disappear and not talk to me for months, which in that way, she was being selfish because she was doing it for her own reasons. I never blamed her for it though.
I don't think I'd ever kill myself. Although...I have hoped that I would simply not wake up one morning since I was about 8 or 9..
I started feeling like that around that age too. I find it odd now thinking about it that I was such a young age. Back then though, I thought I wanted to never wake up, and wished I simply didn't exist. I think it was the start of my suicidal feelings, just that back then I didn't know what suicide was at all.
1) So i can listen to some metal.
2) So i can go outside and drink some beer with some sexy ladies.
3) So I can play Diablo 3....DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Edit; This is pretty honest too. I had a dream I died and everyone at my funeral cried cause they had to live the rest of their lives knowing Serpenth would never play Diablo 3 and it was too sad for them.
I don't think I'd ever kill myself. Although...I have hoped that I would simply not wake up one morning since I was about 8 or 9..
I've thought about it before, in times of grief and laughably in times of pure boredom. The thought comes out when I deeply think about society, and what I'm supposed to do in the eyes of others, and about when I'm older. But (and sure this sounds kinda cheesy) I literally look outside, either at the mountains or the trees, or my favorite; The clouds. And I just get this, feeling I guess you'd call it. I realize that sure one day I will die, but I'm pretty damn positive I'll never come back to life. I want to believe in God, but deep down I know for sure that I'm an animal, just like all the other animals, living on this world just like everything else, and when I die, that'l be it. I REALLY wish there's a heaven, but it just doesn't make sense, ya know?
So what keep me alive and going? It literally boils down for me to this; Since I'll be dying one day, I might as well stay alive as long as possible, doing whatever makes me happy, considering I probably won't be alive again.
Sometimes I fantasize about death; it's not a fascination, but sometimes I just want to know how my death would affect people if I were to be taken young.
Then I feel kind of... selfish? It's a romantic thought in a broader sense of the word.
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I hate the way you cling to ignorance and pass it off as innocence
I don't think I'd ever kill myself. Although...I have hoped that I would simply not wake up one morning since I was about 8 or 9..
I've thought about it before, in times of grief and laughably in times of pure boredom. The thought comes out when I deeply think about society, and what I'm supposed to do in the eyes of others, and about when I'm older. But (and sure this sounds kinda cheesy) I literally look outside, either at the mountains or the trees, or my favorite; The clouds. And I just get this, feeling I guess you'd call it. I realize that sure one day I will die, but I'm pretty damn positive I'll never come back to life. I want to believe in God, but deep down I know for sure that I'm an animal, just like all the other animals, living on this world just like everything else, and when I die, that'l be it. I REALLY wish there's a heaven, but it just doesn't make sense, ya know?
So what keep me alive and going? It literally boils down for me to this; Since I'll be dying one day, I might as well stay alive as long as possible, doing whatever makes me happy, considering I probably won't be alive again.
I definitely feel like this too! The only thing with me is that I'm not concerned with anything like heaven and hell, but I find great comfort in the fact that I will die some day, and that will be it. It's kind of weird because every friend I've had has feared death so much. I find it to be very comforting somehow. I guess knowing that there is an end to things, and that will be it. And also what you said, that I may as well live as much as I can until I die.
I don't think I'd ever kill myself. Although...I have hoped that I would simply not wake up one morning since I was about 8 or 9..
I've thought about it before, in times of grief and laughably in times of pure boredom. The thought comes out when I deeply think about society, and what I'm supposed to do in the eyes of others, and about when I'm older. But (and sure this sounds kinda cheesy) I literally look outside, either at the mountains or the trees, or my favorite; The clouds. And I just get this, feeling I guess you'd call it. I realize that sure one day I will die, but I'm pretty damn positive I'll never come back to life. I want to believe in God, but deep down I know for sure that I'm an animal, just like all the other animals, living on this world just like everything else, and when I die, that'l be it. I REALLY wish there's a heaven, but it just doesn't make sense, ya know?
So what keep me alive and going? It literally boils down for me to this; Since I'll be dying one day, I might as well stay alive as long as possible, doing whatever makes me happy, considering I probably won't be alive again.
I definitely feel like this too! The only thing with me is that I'm not concerned with anything like heaven and hell, but I find great comfort in the fact that I will die some day, and that will be it. It's kind of weird because every friend I've had has feared death so much. I find it to be very comforting somehow. I guess knowing that there is an end to things, and that will be it. And also what you said, that I may as well live as much as I can until I die.
It's good to know I'm not alone =) And after I read what you said, about not being concerned with heaven or hell, I kind of realized I'm not either. I think I say I am just because I think I'm supposed to be, but honestly I'm not. It's strange ><
And yea, it is comforting knowing there's an end somewhere. Personally I know I'll one day find it, so I might as well not search for it.
It's good to know I'm not alone =) And after I read what you said, about not being concerned with heaven or hell, I kind of realized I'm not either. I think I say I am just because I think I'm supposed to be, but honestly I'm not. It's strange ><
And yea, it is comforting knowing there's an end somewhere. Personally I know I'll one day find it, so I might as well not search for it.
Were you raised in a religious family? I don't even know if my parents are religious or not. They may believe in things, but they've never really expressed their views, and never pushed them on me or my brother while we were growing up. Maybe because of that, neither me or my brother really believe in that sort of thing. Most everyone I know is religious though, because they were brought up that way. I guess I feel lucky that I wasn't, though, because I don't have to concern myself with being worried about going to heaven or hell, I know that one day I will just stop and it ends there. I think if I thought there was an afterlife I'd be constantly stressing out about how I'm doing in this life, to ensure I have a better afterlife. If that makes sense?
It's good to know I'm not alone =) And after I read what you said, about not being concerned with heaven or hell, I kind of realized I'm not either. I think I say I am just because I think I'm supposed to be, but honestly I'm not. It's strange ><
And yea, it is comforting knowing there's an end somewhere. Personally I know I'll one day find it, so I might as well not search for it.
Were you raised in a religious family? I don't even know if my parents are religious or not. They may believe in things, but they've never really expressed their views, and never pushed them on me or my brother while we were growing up. Maybe because of that, neither me or my brother really believe in that sort of thing. Most everyone I know is religious though, because they were brought up that way. I guess I feel lucky that I wasn't, though, because I don't have to concern myself with being worried about going to heaven or hell, I know that one day I will just stop and it ends there. I think if I thought there was an afterlife I'd be constantly stressing out about how I'm doing in this life, to ensure I have a better afterlife. If that makes sense?
No actually I wasn't. I've probably gone to church 5 times in my life. Maybe those feelings were from some friends who were raised that way, or just society in general. But like I said, I've come to realize I don't really care about those things =) And yea it makes sense; If you're worried about an afterlife you're going to worry the whole time you're alive now. Which is why I look strangely at people who say they've dedicated their entire life to spreading (insert religion). People can do what they want I don't care, but I honestly view that as more wasted then having fun in your life, such as playing D3 =)
Family is a good reason. But you can lose your family and be without a reason to move on.
Love is a good reason. But you may lose the ones you love, not be loved at all, or even don't feel love.
Pleasure? Fades. Ambition? You either fail or succeed, and them what? Empty.
If you stop and think about none of these are really good reasons to move on. I think a good reason to move on is to realize the magnificent thing that is: intelligent life. Because you're alive and you're intelligent you are able to understand what family means. You are able to think about the abstract nature of love, about its passionate/temporary side, about its transcendent/deep side. You can eventually evolve to more sophisticated pleasures and wiser ambitions. You are alive and you are able to think. Being able to think by itself doesn't make you any more physically or socially more powerful. True. And yet...you have an intelligent life and in the realm of thought there is no certain limit to your power.
Intelligence is what gives meaning to the things that compose our existence, there is no meaning without understanding. Intelligence is what gives depth to our experiences. Even being sad, even felling bad may be a pleasure as an experience for our mind (ever heard of romanticism?).
Being a living intelligent being...we really have no idea how we came to be what we are, yet we are. It's a gift. Not being alive or being unintelligent....seems so final. Yet life is so full of possibilities.
If you want to understand more about life i'd recommend thinking about who you are. And i mean who you really are. Not the circumstances around your existence, not where you live, or how you live, or you physical appearance, or your social position. But who you are. An intelligent living being.
We have come to know many beautiful and incredible things in nature and in the universe. We even created some awesome things.
We do not know everything. In fact we know almost nothing. But as far as we know...we're the best thing we've ever met.
What keeps you going? Why do you feel comfortable and/or happy waking up the next day?
If you don't - and the feeling you have is that of one where you wish you wouldn't wake in the morning - why?
Just curious...
Besides my true feelings that wrote a couple posts up; Waking up to a cute red panda face asking me questions regarding my mortality and the mental state at which I view it =)
First post, likely my last. I don't post on forums much. I will try not to be too religious, but to answer your question I must tread to what my life is, not what some may wish it to be.
I rarely feel like I am moving along in my life. But neither do I feel like I am going still. I know I advance, in the few ways that I do. But there is a great divide between my feelings and my knowledge, and I must lament that. I do not feel the purpose in and of life, but I know it very well. But any reasons to go on do not give me the energy to do so.
I do believe in God, I could even be called a Christian if I wasn't such a poor one. I have given whole years of thought to my "faith". But my belief in God and the things I am called to do in life to not make me want to do them. The mandates of God are intentionally unnatural. The point of life is to conquer yourself. It is to bend your own mind, your own form, your own very being to your will. As with most humans, I fall short of this charge in my youth, and am not likely to complete it before my timely demise.
I do not seek my death, but from what I can tell of my own behavior, I do not seek life either. I do not often "feel" love towards my family, but I know that love is more than feeling. I do not seek advancement in careers, but I am a lazy bum who doesn't really want to work much anyway. Plus I'm 21 and in college, got a little while to go before starting the True Grind. I think about so many things, but rarely do I pause to think if I would rather just not wake up. My feeling capabilities seem to be a little wacky, but the more I thing about life, expectations, meaning and all that fun stuff the less I I feel inclined to do anything but ponder.
When I was younger and pumped up on hormones , I wanted to find a nice girl worth loving. That used to be something I looked forward to. Not just sex, but finding a mind worth sharing mine with (And I am not as smart or brilliant as I try to sound), finding a mind actually worth knowing. I have stopped being so hopeful for it, I have ruined enough of myself to dash the already meek chance of success on that field much, much lower. But I have recognized that only wanting to find love is, while nice, not much. A poster before my said it quite well, our minds give meaning to our feelings and experiences. The pleasures and pains of this life are not what defines us, but what we do in the face of them.
I don't hope much anymore. Sure, I get excited about Lego wars with my brothers, playing Diablo 3, and all of that. But those are games, not worthy of true hope. I do not despair much either. My life is as devoid of pain as it is of pleasure. And in that, I am a failed human, waiting for the bitch-slap to the face to give impetus to my life.
Listening to this atm, it kind of calms me. You would want to lower your sound a lot if you will play this. I don't recomend you to play tihs tho it's freaking grose.
Strangely enough, I understand this. Sometimes I'm in a mood where I'm so pissed off at everything and the world, and somehow listening to crazy crap like this calms me. Maybe it's because it's so effed up and angry sounding that it's like me taking my anger out without actually doing anything. I can't really explain it, but I think I understand how it could calm you.
This thread surprised me. The answers are remarkably deep and serious. I dare bet that to all those discussing their deepest emotions here it must feel quite cathartic.
For me, as many, I haven't always enjoyed life. I've always been quite on my own, holding only two close friends. This may not seem like much, but they're both very deep friendships, that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.
I have some trouble enjoying the Diablo 3 launch this year... because May 16th 2011, one of those friends was shot and killed by her jealous and psychotic ex boyfriend.
Wouldn't say I ever seriously considered killing myself. But the world did become a much darker place.
This thread surprised me. The answers are remarkably deep and serious. I dare bet that to all those discussing their deepest emotions here it must feel quite cathartic.
For me, as many, I haven't always enjoyed life. I've always been quite on my own, holding only two close friends. This may not seem like much, but they're both very deep friendships, that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.
I have some trouble enjoying the Diablo 3 launch this year... because May 16th 2011, one of those friends was shot and killed by her jealous and psychotic ex boyfriend.
Wouldn't say I ever seriously considered killing myself. But the world did become a much darker place.
Sorry to hear about your friend. I can understand how this would be a difficult time because of that.
This thread actually surprised me too. I wasn't sure how people would react when I was being completely honest about how I've felt about things. It's good to know there's other people around who are similar.
I've also only ever really had one or two close friends at a time. Over the last few years though, those relationships have drifted apart. I've completely lost touch with one of my friends, and the other we're just not as close anymore for some reason. I think part of it was on me though. I feel I've messed things up before and I've had to distance myself a bit from people. I guess it's a defense mechanism of sorts. I've been more comfortable and able to focus on my own life though because of it, so I don't think it's a bad thing. It's about time I've focused on myself anyway.
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I feel the same, I don't think it's right to call a suicidal person selfish. A friend I used to have would say I'm very selfish for thinking about suicide. She was depressed too, but not suicidal. I felt that, in a way, she was being selfish, because she wanted me to stay around so she wouldn't have so suffer my loss. But for her to not be hurt by that, I had to stay alive, and then I'd be suffering. It's all a matter of how you look at it, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to it really. I also don't think the other person always understands the suicidal person. Also, that friend I had, would disappear and not talk to me for months, which in that way, she was being selfish because she was doing it for her own reasons. I never blamed her for it though.
I started feeling like that around that age too. I find it odd now thinking about it that I was such a young age. Back then though, I thought I wanted to never wake up, and wished I simply didn't exist. I think it was the start of my suicidal feelings, just that back then I didn't know what suicide was at all.
1) So i can listen to some metal.
2) So i can go outside and drink some beer with some sexy ladies.
3) So I can play Diablo 3....DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Edit; This is pretty honest too. I had a dream I died and everyone at my funeral cried cause they had to live the rest of their lives knowing Serpenth would never play Diablo 3 and it was too sad for them.
I've thought about it before, in times of grief and laughably in times of pure boredom. The thought comes out when I deeply think about society, and what I'm supposed to do in the eyes of others, and about when I'm older. But (and sure this sounds kinda cheesy) I literally look outside, either at the mountains or the trees, or my favorite; The clouds. And I just get this, feeling I guess you'd call it. I realize that sure one day I will die, but I'm pretty damn positive I'll never come back to life. I want to believe in God, but deep down I know for sure that I'm an animal, just like all the other animals, living on this world just like everything else, and when I die, that'l be it. I REALLY wish there's a heaven, but it just doesn't make sense, ya know?
So what keep me alive and going? It literally boils down for me to this; Since I'll be dying one day, I might as well stay alive as long as possible, doing whatever makes me happy, considering I probably won't be alive again.
Then I feel kind of... selfish? It's a romantic thought in a broader sense of the word.
I hate the way you cling to ignorance and pass it off as innocence
I definitely feel like this too! The only thing with me is that I'm not concerned with anything like heaven and hell, but I find great comfort in the fact that I will die some day, and that will be it. It's kind of weird because every friend I've had has feared death so much. I find it to be very comforting somehow. I guess knowing that there is an end to things, and that will be it. And also what you said, that I may as well live as much as I can until I die.
It's good to know I'm not alone =) And after I read what you said, about not being concerned with heaven or hell, I kind of realized I'm not either. I think I say I am just because I think I'm supposed to be, but honestly I'm not. It's strange ><
And yea, it is comforting knowing there's an end somewhere. Personally I know I'll one day find it, so I might as well not search for it.
Were you raised in a religious family? I don't even know if my parents are religious or not. They may believe in things, but they've never really expressed their views, and never pushed them on me or my brother while we were growing up. Maybe because of that, neither me or my brother really believe in that sort of thing. Most everyone I know is religious though, because they were brought up that way. I guess I feel lucky that I wasn't, though, because I don't have to concern myself with being worried about going to heaven or hell, I know that one day I will just stop and it ends there. I think if I thought there was an afterlife I'd be constantly stressing out about how I'm doing in this life, to ensure I have a better afterlife. If that makes sense?
What were you going to say?
I do that all the time.
No actually I wasn't. I've probably gone to church 5 times in my life. Maybe those feelings were from some friends who were raised that way, or just society in general. But like I said, I've come to realize I don't really care about those things =) And yea it makes sense; If you're worried about an afterlife you're going to worry the whole time you're alive now. Which is why I look strangely at people who say they've dedicated their entire life to spreading (insert religion). People can do what they want I don't care, but I honestly view that as more wasted then having fun in your life, such as playing D3 =)
Family is a good reason. But you can lose your family and be without a reason to move on.
Love is a good reason. But you may lose the ones you love, not be loved at all, or even don't feel love.
Pleasure? Fades. Ambition? You either fail or succeed, and them what? Empty.
If you stop and think about none of these are really good reasons to move on. I think a good reason to move on is to realize the magnificent thing that is: intelligent life. Because you're alive and you're intelligent you are able to understand what family means. You are able to think about the abstract nature of love, about its passionate/temporary side, about its transcendent/deep side. You can eventually evolve to more sophisticated pleasures and wiser ambitions. You are alive and you are able to think. Being able to think by itself doesn't make you any more physically or socially more powerful. True. And yet...you have an intelligent life and in the realm of thought there is no certain limit to your power.
Intelligence is what gives meaning to the things that compose our existence, there is no meaning without understanding. Intelligence is what gives depth to our experiences. Even being sad, even felling bad may be a pleasure as an experience for our mind (ever heard of romanticism?).
Being a living intelligent being...we really have no idea how we came to be what we are, yet we are. It's a gift. Not being alive or being unintelligent....seems so final. Yet life is so full of possibilities.
If you want to understand more about life i'd recommend thinking about who you are. And i mean who you really are. Not the circumstances around your existence, not where you live, or how you live, or you physical appearance, or your social position. But who you are. An intelligent living being.
We have come to know many beautiful and incredible things in nature and in the universe. We even created some awesome things.
We do not know everything. In fact we know almost nothing. But as far as we know...we're the best thing we've ever met.
Besides my true feelings that wrote a couple posts up; Waking up to a cute red panda face asking me questions regarding my mortality and the mental state at which I view it =)
I rarely feel like I am moving along in my life. But neither do I feel like I am going still. I know I advance, in the few ways that I do. But there is a great divide between my feelings and my knowledge, and I must lament that. I do not feel the purpose in and of life, but I know it very well. But any reasons to go on do not give me the energy to do so.
I do believe in God, I could even be called a Christian if I wasn't such a poor one. I have given whole years of thought to my "faith". But my belief in God and the things I am called to do in life to not make me want to do them. The mandates of God are intentionally unnatural. The point of life is to conquer yourself. It is to bend your own mind, your own form, your own very being to your will. As with most humans, I fall short of this charge in my youth, and am not likely to complete it before my timely demise.
I do not seek my death, but from what I can tell of my own behavior, I do not seek life either. I do not often "feel" love towards my family, but I know that love is more than feeling. I do not seek advancement in careers, but I am a lazy bum who doesn't really want to work much anyway. Plus I'm 21 and in college, got a little while to go before starting the True Grind. I think about so many things, but rarely do I pause to think if I would rather just not wake up. My feeling capabilities seem to be a little wacky, but the more I thing about life, expectations, meaning and all that fun stuff the less I I feel inclined to do anything but ponder.
When I was younger and pumped up on hormones , I wanted to find a nice girl worth loving. That used to be something I looked forward to. Not just sex, but finding a mind worth sharing mine with (And I am not as smart or brilliant as I try to sound), finding a mind actually worth knowing. I have stopped being so hopeful for it, I have ruined enough of myself to dash the already meek chance of success on that field much, much lower. But I have recognized that only wanting to find love is, while nice, not much. A poster before my said it quite well, our minds give meaning to our feelings and experiences. The pleasures and pains of this life are not what defines us, but what we do in the face of them.
I don't hope much anymore. Sure, I get excited about Lego wars with my brothers, playing Diablo 3, and all of that. But those are games, not worthy of true hope. I do not despair much either. My life is as devoid of pain as it is of pleasure. And in that, I am a failed human, waiting for the bitch-slap to the face to give impetus to my life.
Strangely enough, I understand this. Sometimes I'm in a mood where I'm so pissed off at everything and the world, and somehow listening to crazy crap like this calms me. Maybe it's because it's so effed up and angry sounding that it's like me taking my anger out without actually doing anything. I can't really explain it, but I think I understand how it could calm you.
This thread surprised me. The answers are remarkably deep and serious. I dare bet that to all those discussing their deepest emotions here it must feel quite cathartic.
For me, as many, I haven't always enjoyed life. I've always been quite on my own, holding only two close friends. This may not seem like much, but they're both very deep friendships, that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.
I have some trouble enjoying the Diablo 3 launch this year... because May 16th 2011, one of those friends was shot and killed by her jealous and psychotic ex boyfriend.
Wouldn't say I ever seriously considered killing myself. But the world did become a much darker place.
Edit: bashiok posted this and i found too awesome to not share. It's a freaking motivational whiteboard unicorn.
Sometimes I think I exist just for the amusement of serving a woman like a lowly slave!
Sorry to hear about your friend. I can understand how this would be a difficult time because of that.
This thread actually surprised me too. I wasn't sure how people would react when I was being completely honest about how I've felt about things. It's good to know there's other people around who are similar.
I've also only ever really had one or two close friends at a time. Over the last few years though, those relationships have drifted apart. I've completely lost touch with one of my friends, and the other we're just not as close anymore for some reason. I think part of it was on me though. I feel I've messed things up before and I've had to distance myself a bit from people. I guess it's a defense mechanism of sorts. I've been more comfortable and able to focus on my own life though because of it, so I don't think it's a bad thing. It's about time I've focused on myself anyway.