You did a nice work and now i'm thinking of writing one of the novels myself.
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''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
Hard to tell. When I get on a roll, I backtrack and correct things, and add more. I'd give it another week or so. I've been pretty busy other than writing my novel recently. :/
I love the beginning. Very well described. Since I'm still young I only use verbs and nouns and I forget my adjectives and adverbs, but I'm getting there.
Chapter two is solidly built so far. About half done thus far. I revised it a lot because I put a lot of weird magical shit in it that I felt made it too weird. So now the only magical thing I have left in it is the companion of King Durad... An ancient hovering orb... Enigmatic and infinate with it's elemental capabilities...
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One question though. Later in the chapter you told us what that action was. So does Oscupus now recall what he once was?
No, that was the narrator stating some facts. Oscopus does not recall his action. Yet.
Oh and for chapter one, I've decided to alter the very end of it. I'm going to put the speech Slaythe gives to his people in chapter two.
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
Very nice start too man.
I didnt really read all of it. I will eventually. Keep it up man. Just the first couple of sentences told me it will be pretty good.